"No, don't blame him. Don't you dare, or you'll make me do it too just to follow along with you." I'm not controlling you, Diane." It's not control! Dammit, listen to what I'm saying! I follow along because I think everyone else is wiser than me. That's why I can't do this anymore."Heather looked stricken.Diane looked at Heather, her eyes wet. "I thought I loved you. Maybe I do. But maybe I latched on to you because I thought it would be so much easier to just follow along and let you make the decisions."Heather nodded, her throat too tight for words.Diane swallowed. "Heather, I-I do care for you, but ... I just don't know how much of my feelings are real anymore and how much is just some need for comfort." D-Diane, please don't say you want to br ... break..." Heather's words dissolved into a choked sob. She sniffled and wiped her eyes with her free hand."Break up? We can't anyway," Diane said, her voice soft. "The link, remember? Have to have sex to keep that up." Sex is not the. My mind reeled at what she was proposing. Finally I said. 'Of course I want to, Missy. I haven't been the same ever since that night...To tell you the truth, I've been beating myself up over going to see you. I felt I was doing something wrong, violating your trust, I don't know...If you're telling me this is OK, I guess I feel a hell of a lot better about it...''I figured you'd be feeling bad. That's why I called you here, Tony. There's no reason to feel bad. It's all good!' She smiled at me and I suddenly felt like the luckiest man in the world. 'So just let me know when is good.'A pause.'How about...now? Tonight?' I asked. My pulse was racing. I couldn't wait...'Now? Uh...Well, sure, but...You'll have to give me a little time to get ready...How about if you come back at around ten? That OK?''Ten! I'll be back.' I finished my coffee and we small talked some, but as I left Missy's apartment, life felt very different, somehow...I felt like a different person. Living a different.
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